my 2019 new year’s chalkboard held this mantra; “sort out your own shit”. boy, did this year come with a lot of shit to sort. it started with saying goodbye to our 16 year old shiba inu, rocco + only picked up steam with my husband’s cancer diagnosis in may. in the thick of it, it seemed like a year marked only by trips to boston, medication schedules, hospital + doctor visits. funny how these yearend reviews make me realize it was so much more than that. it was a year of love, generosity, travel, gardening, family vacations, portraits, weddings, laughter and self reflection.
i came across this post on you are luminous’ instagram account + it stopped me in my tracks:
“what if you were actually very blessed because you got to experience something hard that you now have a depth and understanding, an awareness, an overcoming and strength that not all human beings get the opportunity to receive.”
even amongst all the shit sorting, there can be gratitude. i do feel blessed. i still falter, absolutely, but this year has taught me to be compassionate, to accept the generosity of strangers, to remember that you have no idea what someone might be going through. be gentle with each other + with yourself. i am learning to breathe through the chaos + i do believe that all i have experienced in 2019 has forever changed the way I live, the way I see, and ultimately it will change the way I photograph.